There's No Such Thing as Premarital Sex

The only way premarital sex would be possible is if marriage is nothing more than a legal status rendered by a temporal government.

The Bible doesn't contain a single verse that prohibits sex before marriage. Considering how seriously God takes marriage, this might come as a counter-intuitive surprise. Even saying it sounds like I'm making light of sex, but that's only because the church has made light of marriage.

For example, our culture has made sex recreational--a game for perpetually bored teenagers and a distraction for desperately lonely adults. Some will say that it's a helpful gauge of compatibility, yet for most people, it's just another item on the human experience checklist. One of the better ones, for sure, but not any more life-changing than a good sneeze or a piece of cake.

In response, the church has made sex dangerous. Instead of being fun or informative, sex is a horrible monster that needs to be kept locked up lest it give you a disease or worse, a baby. But when love arrives in the form of a proper license, then it will magically transform into a fairy god something that will grant you three wishes: a good marriage, a clear conscience, and true pleasure.

The intent was a good one in that the church was hoping to combat culture's casual approach to sex by injecting it with an amount of severity. Except that in elevating the status of sex, we've accepted culture's lowered status of marriage.

Throughout most of human history, marriage has been treated as a legal transaction. In the early days of patriarchy, it was not unlike purchasing offspring, complete with an indentured nanny who would raise the man's descendants. As women began to shake off their identity as property, marriage became more of a state-recognized partnership that included various tax and insurance-related benefits.

Now most Christians would say that marriage is a sacred covenant, not just a legal partnership. However, the sacred gets obscured by the fact that no Christian would recognize a marriage that isn't recognized by the state. In other words, we may believe that God ordained marriage, but we only trust the state to authorize it. It's tempting to argue that this was God's intent since he endowed the state with authority save for the fact that God already provided his own way of authorizing marriage.


There's a reason that humanity has historically consummated marriages through this physical act. And even if they were treated more pragmatically centuries ago, there was no question that a marriage didn't begin until sex was had. This means that premarital sex is an illogical concept since the thing that consummates a marriage can't exist apart from consummating a marriage.

Some will debate me on this because they're convinced that the Bible does contain prohibitions against premarital sex like 1 Corinthians 6:9, 2 Corinthians 12:21, Galatians 5:19, and Hebrews 13:4. But the problem with all of these verses and many others is that they rely on a faulty interpretation of a disputed Greek word: porneia (often rendered as "fornication").

Scholars may be divided on the intended meaning of this word, but the etymology clearly refers to prostitution (just follow the root words in Strong's). And since prostitution is God's favorite metaphor to describe his people's unfaithfulness, it should be obvious that the sin in view here is not jumping the gun on commitment but cheapening it by committing to multiple partners. No one can serve two masters; thus, true faithfulness is monogamous.

This is why Paul says in 1 Corinthians, "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, 'The two will become one flesh.'" If sex doesn't institute marriage, then why did Paul condemn prostitution by alluding to God's establishment of marriage? Because whenever we have sex with someone, we're entering into a metaphysical union with them that God designed to mirror a lifelong commitment to him. Which means there is no such thing as sex before marriage; there is only sex outside of marriage.

But just because premarital sex is a made-up sin, that doesn't mean we have license to sleep with anyone we want. Rather, we need to understand that our first sexual partner is marriage and our second is adultery. Just in case it sounded like I was taking sex lightly, yes, I just called the "innocent" explorations of young adults as adultery. Because unlike some people, I don't see Scripture drawing a distinction between sex and marriage. And I have to imagine that if sex was understood as the consummation of marriage, then it wouldn't be done so casually in the first place.

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  1. That last statement is pure gold. The only problem is most people refuse to believe it. This way they can sleep with whoever they want, and still say I'll get married when I'm ready by the state.

    I have yet to hear an explanation on why in Matthew 5:32 you see fornication used to describe marital infidelity.

    The whole idea that the state has ultimate authority to sanction marriage has led to homosexual filth being legalized as "marriage." If a man and woman consummate their marriage in the act of sexual intercourse, and that's what makes a marriage legal in the eyes of God, then there is no way two men or two women could ever truly be married. Our country has become so full of darkness that all there is anymore in this country is darkness. The Church is doing nothing but feeding it by propagating the lie that the state can sanction marriage.

    I do have one question for you that is bugging me. If sex equals marriage, where does weddings, like the one Jesus attended, fit in with it?

    1. Ancient Near Eastern weddings are just what they are: cultural artifacts. The fact that Jesus attended one (and probably others) does not indicate anything other than he attended one. It's a poor hermeneutic to infer this statement as an endorsement.

      The only words we have from Jesus directly speaking about what marriage is and how it works never address cultural traditions. He speaks of God being the sole architect but also that marriage is one more shadow of things to come that will not exist in the future.

      These are the passages we should consider. Not the descriptive ones but the prescriptive ones.

  2. very nice, think its funny how very explicit the bible is about what is sin and what is not but people got to infer so many things to keep the victorian thing going

  3. I recently read an article from a secular author in which she stated that many people today experience multiple marriages and, by extension, the trauma of multiple divorces, as a result of the propensity for informal marriage-like relatioships called "living together". The practice, according to this author, has caused pain and intimacy issues. The church is not called to develop some holy dating method to be adopted by all "good kid". What happens to those who cant or didnt practice holy dating. Jesus said he came for sinners like a doctor for the sick. His way of dealing with the woman at the well can help us as we figure out our message. His message to her was full knowledge of "everything I ever did." Yet she felt his love and acceptance enough to go back and call her community to him. I bet that did more to change her life than any instruction on proper marriage or sexual behavior could.

  4. I've had this view on marriage and sex for awhile and was wondering if I could find anyone else out there who had the same thoughts. Some mid twenties couple at my church ended up getting pregnant and everyone freaked out and talked so poorly about them... Which made me question if it was really even wrong. As far as we know they were committed to each other, had sex and then a baby... I see no sin being committed as long as it was their first time. That's how it's supposed to work. You don't need to be legally married and recognized by the government to be biblically married to someone.

  5. Preciouse people, we are leaving out a MAJOR item here. If sex = marriage. HOW ON EARTH can you help someone "REPENT PROPERLY" according to the Word of God.

    According to the teaching:

    A Virgin Female is married to the FIRST man she has sex with and susequently has ADULTURY with every other man afterwards.

    A Male, whether married or not is married to ANY VIRGIN or WIDOW he has sex with as a Man can Biblically be Joined to Multiple Wives and (it was even commanded in the Bible if a Man has Brothers who die in battle, that man had to take his deceased brother's wives and marry them additional to his own wife.)

    The question is this, there are many men coming to Christ who have a sinful past. How are they to know who their actual wives are? Some men had been with many women and the men don't know what women were in fact virgins at the time of sex. Some men don't even remember all the women down through the years they had sex with.

    Also, does the act of moving on, or breaking up, constitute PUTTING AWAY

    Now according to Jesus Christ, in 1 Corinithians 7:10 Husbands who PUT AWAY their wives are in OPEN REBELLION to Jesus's command. This means that if a man DOES NOT undo his putting away of all the wives he had down through the years, he can PERISH in HELL.

    Now if this is the TRUTH

    Preachers who do not preach this TRUTH will also perish in hell for not telling the TRUTH

    This same thing for Woman

    We need Jesus and only Jesus to Straighten Out the MESS that we have gotten ourselves into

    We need to WARN all youth to NOT ENGAGE in sex or ANY ACT of sexual grattification no matter how mild unless they seek MARRIAGE.


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